Now that I’m home full-time, I can go grocery shopping whenever I want. I usually choose weekday mornings because stores are less crowded, or right after Madeline’s Gymboree Play & Learn class so we can grab lunch in the deli at Whole Foods. During the week I often visit three different grocery stores to find everything I need—sometimes four if I’m shopping for Korean ingredients.
More often than not we stop at Trader Joe’s because they have those small red shopping carts for kids with a flag that reads “Customer in Training.” Madeline knows the routine: when we go to Trader Joe’s she gets to push her own cart. It’s her size, it’s red, and she loves it.
Because she has her own cart, I end up watching her closely. If we only need a few items, I’ll put them in her cart. If we need a lot, it quickly becomes a juggling act: I push my cart, keep an eye on her, help steer her through the aisles, and try to prevent anyone from being bumped. I often find myself removing items she drops into her cart and apologizing to other shoppers when we block the aisle or cause a small commotion.
There was a day at Trader Joe’s when I was unusually stressed and felt like everyone around me was judging the fact that my two-year-old was exploring the produce aisle and dropping fruit into her cart. One man shot me a particularly disapproving look.
We tend to shop early on weekdays, so many fellow shoppers are older—grandparents or people who don’t work outside the home. We also see other parents pushing the same little carts. On this day Madeline was more restless than usual. I wanted to get in and out, but she wanted to walk around, say hi to people, sample food, and check out new products.
At checkout I was flustered and still trying to keep Madeline occupied. Another mom asked if she could use the “customer in training” cart and I told her yes. That upset Madeline, so I pulled out gummies and crackers to calm her. Frustrated, I vented to the cashier that they should remove the small carts because they were bothersome to other customers. The cashier replied gently that no one had complained and that the kids seemed to enjoy them. Her calm response made me realize I was the one overreacting.
When I stepped back, the situation seemed ridiculous: I was stressed over grocery shopping with my two-year-old. Sometimes she grabs a banana and drops it in the cart. Sometimes she bumps into someone and says, “sorry.” She’s two years old—that’s what toddlers do.
On a later visit to Trader Joe’s, Madeline nearly ran into an elderly woman. I apologized right away and the woman smiled and said, “Oh, you’re fine sweetie. She’s not doing a thing. Don’t even worry about it.” That kindness stayed with me.
I’ve learned not to sweat every small moment in public. There are bigger priorities than the occasional dropped item or accidental bump in an aisle.
I’ll keep shopping and taking care of my family. And if you ever see a parent struggling in a grocery store—wrangling a child, juggling bags, trying to move through a crowded aisle—please don’t offer a disapproving look. A little patience or a helping hand goes a long way.